Best Places For Women To Drag Their Men For Punishment
Sorry to say, but this list is not about S&M. We're pretty much rated PG here at YAHglobal.Com, most of the time. Instead, this itemized list represents the places that women can drag their boyfriends, boys who are friends, or husbands when they have misbehaved. Now we don't intend to be sexist towards the guys in this here list. We do acknowledge the fact that there are those XY chromosones out there that can shop til they drop with the best of them. Plus, there is a growing trend that finds the Mani-Pedi no longer belonging to the fairer sex. However, for the most part the average male, the "man's man" or even the horribly monickered "Joe 6-Pack" (created by hopefully soon forgotten Vice Presidential Ex-Candidate) cringes at the thought of spending more than 3 hours at any retail venue that does not involve items that require multiple 3 pronged powerbar plug ins. Nor do they put their feet up for anything other than placing them on a sofa or makeshift ledge as chair of some sort.
This list is for the women that have to suffer through that lack of "support" day in and day out. So if he's been a bad boy, or its your birthday, or just a Tuesday and you've got torture on the mind, drag him along to these fine establishments. You never know, he might like it...especially the Mani-Pedi.
Bal Harbour, Miami
With an advertisement saying "For The Material Girl" on it, in regards to the shops in Bal Harbour, guys know whats "in store" for them. Nothing. Bal Harbour shopping is all about the ladies and proudly so. Sure there are a few options for the fellas, but thats most likely for legal reasons. Those few stores are akin to the decorative plastic bowl of fruit in a home decor retailer, its there only for show. Check out our listing under the "shopping" section for Bal Harbour to learn more.
Village of Merrick Park
358 San Lorenzo Park, Suite 3000, Coral Gables, Florida
Yet another shopping haven/heaven in the Miami area, the Village of Merrick Park is a beautiful outdoor shopping center with lush gardens, serene fountains, and tropical flora abound, enough to lull anyone into a state of shopping euphoria with no regard for credit card limits. Ladies can take their time and toy with their boy toys by walking them through this maze of a mall and even mess with their heads by following this itinerary, if they've been especially bad;
1. Shock therapy - Start them off by browsing "Pea in the Pod" (maternity) or "Janie & Jack" and "Liapela Modern Baby" (children's apparel), especially if the thought of children has not been set anywhere near the table. "Wait, what is she trying to tell me???" they will think to themselves.
2. Light at the end of the tunnel, or not - Pretend to give them hope by taking them to La Perla, a ladies luxury undergarment boutique shop. They will perk up immediatetly with dizzy thoughts of the afterwards fashion show and fork over the credit cards with a quickness. However, when they see the bill from this extremely high end (and very high priced) lingerie store, they will faint for whole different reasons.
3. False hopes - Drag him along for refreshment to Nordstrom Bistro Cafe or Nordstrom ebar. "Finally, time to eat and drink" they think, but given the locations within one of the most popular department stores in the country, the bites will be of the "to go" variety as you browse within the walls of this large scale retail store. There is after all, no time to waste when on a shopping mission.
4. Pottery Barn - No explanation needed.
5. Bring the leash - No, this isnt some metaphorical shot at the guys who may or may not be coined as being "kept on a short leash". Village of Merrick Park is pet friendly, so that means the ladies can bring along their real best friends and let the guys hold onto, and pick up after, Fido while gals fill their own bags with other goodies. See photo on left.
5. Bayview Financial - Because he'll have to make another withdrawl.
6. Let him do the rest - Time for some down time, for the gals. Head over to Elemis Day Spa for a mani-pedi and give him a "pick up" list to complete. It should read something like this: Tiffany & Co., Victoria's Secret (sending him in alone is a perfect "punishment"), Gucci, Coach, etc.... You get the idea.
North Haulover Beach (Nude Beach Area)
OK, so how does taking your guy to a nude beach punish him for anything? Well, this tactic is a little more underhanded and somewhat devious than the above. Bring him along to the north end of Haulover Beach, where nude sun bathing is commonplace, and make sure he "misplaces" his sunglasses ahead of time so that he can't scan the perimeter inconspicuously. For most guys, taking them to a visual buffet without being allowed to take a peak is pure torture. He'll spend hours trying not to look like he's looking at some of the "perkier" passerbyers, an exhausting practice to say the least. Now here's the catch; he WILL slip up for certain at some point. Make sure you are ready with a sharp eye, giving him the "penalty box" glare, even if you don't care at all. Then, guess what? He's back in trouble again, which means another bankable trip to one of the above two "Best Places Women Take Their Men For Punishment." Well played girlfriend, well played...